#23

It's Not Easy Being Green

I was going to try to write something witty in the vein of an epitaph about how I feel like this blog is dying or is already dead. In fact I already had a solid paragraph penciled in. Something about hitting a wall and trying my hardest to walk through it. Bloody nose and all. But I didn't know how to go further than that. I thought to myself, "what else could I say that I haven't already said before?" Music...emotion...music and emotion. It all sounds like an echo that's bouncing off that same wall and won't stop. So, the only choice I do have is to stay silent for a bit to let the sound cool off. Being still comes easy for me. Hell, I haven't been to the gym in over a month now. I've gone back to smoking the occasional cigarette. My health hasn't necessarily deteriorated, but it's not exactly running on all eight cylinders. I guess the real issue is trying to convert that gas-guzzling engine into something more clean and efficient. Something that will carry me through the long haul of life. I need sustainability. I need to go green.

Holidays are always rough patches for me. The lack of money and then the stress of working more because of the lack of money. It can drag any person down as we have already seen in the past three years since the crash of 2008. I don't have to tell you that people have lost their jobs and homes. I don't need to give you the answers, you already know them. Some of you are a statistic. And what do the commercials say in regards to drunk driving or wearing your seat belt? "DON'T BECOME A STATISTIC!" Too late. This country (or should I say the 1%?) has already drank enough Four Loko, gotten behind the wheel, and hit the gas. I know many people that are jobless. Sure, it may be a lack of skills, but mostly it's a lack of money in the small business sector to provide those jobs. Oh, but wait, wasn't that what TARP was supposed to do? Where's that money? I think we already know the answer to that question too.

Don't get me wrong, folks. I still love music and I still love writing about it. But it's not just about me anymore and my problems. It's everyone else too and their 99 problems, or, their 99% problems. Which is why I'm going back to school for economics and political science. I don't think money is god, but I want to find out why people want to keep money as god. Gandhi said "be the change you wish to see in the world." So if we want our political landscape to change more of us need to take part in it or at least be knowledgeable about it. And I'm not talking about old ideas that cause people to sail under one flag or another. Conservative versus Liberal. Keynesian versus Hayekian. Korn versus Limp Bizkit (remember that fight? HA!). We need to go radical and come up with a plan that helps everyone. Even the ones that like Nickleback.

For now though, this new found obsession with the state of things has breathed new life into 5SIAR. I know I said I wanted to concentrate on the music and only the music on this blog and nothing else. But now it's time to flip-flop on that decision. Music means something different to me now. Just don't call me Newt or Mitt for changing my mind. You've been warned.

"One Time" - The Roots

The Roots have a new album out. Good, I needed some space to fill on my year-end mix. There hasn't been too many albums released this year that have grabbed my attention. However someone just gave me a few more new releases for me to ingest and digest. But first, this album, undun. It's become standard practice for The Roots to deliver us from evil with their intense story lines about the world in which we live in. For example, Black Thought name drops the Occupy movement on this track. I haven't listened enough times to really grasp what the context of the mention is, but I'm sure Thought and the rest of his band are pro-Occupy. I mean, they played Fishbone's "Lyin' Ass Bitch" as Michelle Bachmann's intro music when she was on Jimmy Fallon. Of course she was none the wiser, but in an interview with Pitchfork ?uestlove said that they regret doing it now. I say keep stirring the pot.

Every time I think of a politician listening to music I always think of George W. trying to play drums with that African dance company or Bill Clinton jammin' on the sax. Or the pièce de rèsistance, John Ashcroft singing "Let The Eagle Soar." Oh, the humanity.

I wonder what Obama listens to. Hrmm... Nah, he's not that cool.

I'm going to have to say that in the realm of music political activism is partly erased. Or maybe I'm not listening to the right shit? As noted in Chris Hedges' book Death Of The Liberal Class, people used to listen to Bob Dylan for their answers not LBJ and Nixon during the 60s. I'm paraphrasing of course. While people may not look towards artists for their revolution ammo now, that doesn't mean it's not there. A good example would be PJ Harvey's recent album Let England Shake or some punk band that I'm not listening to but probably should.

My mind is drawing a blank again. Forgive me if this post winds up being short. It could have something to do with me being hungry. To combat this I have begun to shove Ritz crackers with peanut butter into my mouth like a fat kid clinging desperately to a failed diet.

Oh, look, the Grammy nominations just dropped. My Twitter feed is abuzz with Bon Iver getting the nod for an award or four. I'll call it right now that Señor Vernon will win and NO ONE will even know who the heck he is just like NO ONE knew who Arcade Fire was when they won last year. There's a tumblr about that actually. But what's even more hilarious is this video. I guess you could've just watched the video on the tumblr page, but I as I said before, I want to help people in this world. Consider that my first act of public service.

"Who's That Girl?" - Robyn

So, yeah, nominations. Radiohead is on there, obviously, for The King Of Limbs. No surprise there. But what's this my eyes do see? Robyn has been nom'ed as well! I was going to use a Radiohead song, but fuck it, we're going with Robyn. Did I mention I was the only dude dancing at Bonnaroo when she was on stage for her set? I have no shame. I'm sure at some point if I decide to run for public office this will come back to haunt me. No, not my illicit drug use. None of the (alleged) trespassing charges that never stuck. But some pundit will break the story of me dancing my ass off in public to Robyn. America is getting so goddamned tight-wadded that I wouldn't be a bit surprised to open the newspaper one day in the future and see a headline that reads "NICHOLAS TRUDEN CAUGHT DANCING TO GIRL MUSIC!" Yeah, so? I'll admit it. I shook that thing my mama gave AND I waved it around like I just didn't care! Suck it, America.

There's another Robyn track I really love too. It's called "Who's That Girl?" and was the song that garnered her a negative response from her label at the time which then propelled her to start her own label, Konichiwa Records. Every time I listen to "Who's That Girl?" it reminds me of a quote from the author of the comic Phonogram, Kieron Gillien, and what he said about the track. I may have mentioned it before in a previous post, but here it is again.

“i listen to "who’s that girl?" and i think of every girl i’ve trapped in my expectations of her, and think of every time i feel as if i’ve been trapped in theirs. i think of the infinite distance between people and - nevertheless - our urge to cross that gap, knowing that most people fall into the void. it makes me want to dance, and makes me know that no matter how big the dance floor, no matter how many friends i was with, how happy i was…i’d be alone, and i know i’ll always be alone. and so will everyone else. but - most importantly - it doesn’t matter.”

Whenever I feel down I go back to that quote and listen to the song. It makes me feel better. I don't know how or why, but it does. Maybe because Kieron is right. We are alone, but it never really matters anyway in the greater scheme of things. There will always be friends and a dance floor and songs from Robyn. Those things are eternal.

"Cruel" - St. Vincent

"You can't apologize your way into people's hearts. You have to go full force." - Annie Clark

I envy this woman. She makes not having any emotion look so damn easy. And beautiful. Her gestures speak for themselves and they're not really saying much. This is what numb looks like.

"What If We Could?" - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

I had a dream. I had a dream you were my neighbor. I had a dream you were my neighbor and as we were sitting outside a man approached us at our little table. I don't remember what he said, it's possible he didn't say anything at all. But I remember the look on your face when you told me that this wasn't going to work. You and I. You looked down at the table and your dark hair masked the sides of your face like blinders on a horse. The man was then blocked from your view so I looked at him just so I wouldn't have to look at you. Or our table.

That was all I remember from a dream I had this past week. A brunette with dark eyes sitting across from me. I don't remember the dialog, but I'm sure it wasn't kind judging how I remembered the scene by listening to this new song from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack. All I can recall now is her face and head, and the brown hair that fell from it that hid her brown eyes. I thought I'd be okay, but it's always something, something aural, that causes the most painful sting. Which is why I will always consider Trent Reznor one of the most prolific and conscious songwriters of our time and how I wish Chad Kroger would just stop already.

Am I bitter? Yes. Is it going to go away? Unlikely. I am who I am because of my penchant for not forgetting. I tend to hold grudges. I've buried most of them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there beneath the surface. I just need to throw the shovel away, but my grip on it is like that of a vice. I won't let go. And that will always be my problem. I'll never leave the table.

"Bloom" - Radiohead (Jamie xx Rework)

I decided to go ahead and put Radiohead on here anyway to make a point. The Kings Of Limbs has become the new bad Radiohead album. It pushed ahead of Hail To The Thief to take the top spot of least favorite among many of the casual and non-casual fans. Myself included. But I'm at war with this decision because I don't want to give up the idea that Radiohead can make a bad album. Truth is, any band can. Even Radiohead. Now what I want to know is, did they do it on purpose? Is King Of Limbs Radiohead's Exit Through The Giftshop? Did they turn the camera on us to see what we would do? I keep wondering if that's the statement between the songs. I mean, it's still Radiohead, and even though we're not getting the same kind of OK Computer or Kid A kind of genius, I feel like King Of Limbs still has something to teach us; It doesn't matter who it is, art doesn't always have to be loved.

It's weird to think that someone could be fucking with our heads like that. Making us sit down and question things. But that is what we should be doing most of the time anyway. This is why I feel Radiohead commissioned all of these remixes to be created. They asked, "how would you have done it?" It's not surprising that most of the remixes are actually better than their originals. Listening through it sounds like the only piece used from the original tracks is Thom's vocals. Everything else was produced by the remixers. Truth be told, this collection is the real King Of Limbs.

Radiohead isn't hurting for cash. I'm sure they wouldn't have flinched if absolutely no one bought The King Of Limbs. What I'd like to know is whether or not these remixes have had higher sales than KOL. If so it would almost be like Radiohead is doing what other leaders have suggested doing, and that is to "spread the wealth." Sound familiar? I'm sure it does to you and I'm almost just as sure you might be calling me a commie inside your head. Fair enough, but I'm not talking about a set of ideals taken from the story of Robin Hood. Where a thief takes from the rich and gives to the poor. Our society doesn't need a middle man. What we need are the opportunities without the enormous cost or any cost at all. What people don't understand about capitalism is that its goal is to have everything bought and sold in a market. It's a system of haves and have nots. I wish more people would see this, but it takes turning off the television and opening up a book or newspaper once in a while. You'll find that death is a pretty hot commodity lately.

People say that capitalism has improved our way of life and we are better for it. Noam Chomsky made a good point saying the same thing about the improved conditions of slavery from the 18th century to the 19th century. Does that still mean slavery is moral? How can America be the richest country in the world yet be in the middle or at the bottom on lists of countries with a better health care system or school system. The only thing we're at or near the top of the list for is the amount of money we spend on defense and the number of people incarcerated.

We need new ideas. Ones that aren't based off the systems we have in place now. The thing is is that these new ideas aren't new at all. They've been around for a long time and have become bastardized by our government, the media, and even the art community. We have no real choice anymore, and if voting actually changed something it would be illegal. This is why we need the remixers of the world to stand up. We've seen what Occupy Wall Street has done, just imagine what else we can do once more people wipe the dust from their eyes from sleeping so long to get to the American dream. We need to stop seeing green in everything and start seeing red. But first we need to get mad.

#22

Uhmerica, FUCK YEAH!
ps. Bonnaroo


Today's the fourth of July (no it's not, but it was when I started writing this). It's time to dust off the Skynyrd tapes, fire up the pit, and sling back a few dozen of your favorite American brews. In some parts of the country (almost all of it) people are waving their flags with their families and rejoicing in the freedoms bestowed upon them by our forefathers. The rest of us just use it as an excuse to drink and blow shit up. And we don't even need to wear the Pro-Palin t-shirts to do it. I mean, really, does this day really mean anything to anyone except that they get a day off from work? I'd like to celebrate the way the founders of our country probably did. Smoke some of their marijuana cash crop, have sex with one of their "housekeepers", and call it a day. Actually, I wouldn't mind throwing around a pigskin right now. If only it wasn't 100,000,000 degrees outside. Speaking of hot weather, I shall digress from my Independunce Day rant and travel back in time to three, nay, four weeks ago. A time of endless dirt, buckets of sweat, hippies, good food, and even better bands. I am speaking of Bonnaroo 2011. We came. We saw. We conquered.

Four friends and I packed a car with enough booze to quench the thirst of Jimmy McNulty and made our way to Manchester, Tennessee - A small little community past the Blue Ridge Mountains that's home to one of the biggest music festivals that is now in their eleventh year running. Every second week in June thousands of people converge onto a farm to hear some of the biggest names in music, new and old. The name Bonnaroo comes from a Dr. John album (he was there this past year) and is Cajun for "good time." Well, it certainly was a good time. So much in fact that I was sick for two weeks afterwards. Shut up, you'd be sick too if your amount of sleep over the course of 4 days didn't come close to double digits.

So for this 5SIAR I have the stories accompanied by some music to prove that everyone should try Bonnaroo at least once. There are naysayers out there, I know. To which I say to you- deal with wearing a layer of dirt for a few days. It's worth it.

"Generator ^ 1st Floor" - Freelance Whales
Chosen by Rachel Crump

So I asked my fellow travelers to give me a song that summed up their experience at 'Roo. I'm currently having a little trouble coming up with mine so I'll start with the picks they made. I have never heard this band Freelance Whales until now as I write this. And since I obviously hadn't heard them when Bonnaroo was going on I wasn't going to fill my time with seeing them lest I miss something else important. Like, going down a giant inflatable waterslide. That thing saved our lives from the Tennessee sun which is remarkably very similar to the Florida sun. There was no relief from being north of my home state where hell's heat gets vented. No, the Tennessee heat was just as miserable so any respite from it received a very warm welcome. PUN INTENDED!

It cost a person $10 for a wristband to ride the waterslide an unlimited amount of times throughout the entire weekend of Bonnaroo, and I must say that that was the best $10 I spent while I was there. My friends and I must've went down that thing at least 5 times a day and we probably would've been on it even more were it not for the bands that we wanted to see. In fact, I think I might've skipped out on a few bands just to be in close contact with either a) water, b) shade, or c) water and shade. Both of those things were necessary if you were to survive there. I still don't know how the masses were getting drunk at 2 in the afternoon. Two people died during Bonnaroo this year, and by the looks of all the people carrying around booze cups between the times of noon and 6pm there should've been more. Maybe I'm just old fashioned in the I like being hydrated and alive kind of way.

Blogger keeps telling me that waterslide should be two words or have a hyphen between water and slide. It's one word. It's one word because it deserves to be held together on its own with no other punctuation. It's earned that right. Studies have even shown that it's impossible not to smile while riding a waterslide. It's even more impossible not to smile while riding a waterslide at Bonnaroo. We went down the thing backwards, forwards, sideways, and any other which way to get the maximum amount of pleasure we could squeeze out of it. A tip of the hat goes to the organizers of Bonnaroo for including this masterpiece of aquatic entertainment. Bring it back next year or there could be riots.

"Wonderful (The Way I Feel)" - My Morning Jacket
Chosen by Mark Nixon

So there's this band called My Morning Jacket. Maybe you've heard of them, maybe you haven't. They make for good driving music. They also make for a good band to play before Arcade Fire after waiting for hours in dry summer heat. The sun was our enemy for the entire trip. That unrelenting, unforgiving orange ball of suck that cast its rays down on the tired masses. It was Day 2, and having already learned that I cannot beat Apollo at his own game from Day 1, I wasn't about to take my chances outdoors without the proper amount of H20 that was needed. However, my comrades and I were determined to have a front row for Arcade Fire. It was part of the reason why we even bought tickets to the festival in the first place and we weren't about to concede to a defeat. Well, at least my comrades weren't. I pussed out...sorta.

It was around 4:00ish, I think, when Grace Potter & The Nocturnals were done with their set. The Decemberists were the next band up at 5:00...I think. I don't know to be honest, it's all hazy now. I should've written this right after I got back from Tennessee, but you know, I'm fucking lazy. You're just gonna have to deal with half memories or in some cases quarter memories. Hell, I might even just start making shit up.

So in between The Decemberists and the pterodactyl invasion I decided to seek shade and acquire more water before the dehydration got the best of me again. Day 1 was brutal, man. I ALMOST DIED! I was lucky to have friends there who didn't just want to kick dirt on me and give me snarky looks for wearing a fanny pack. I was brought back to life. More accurately, I was fanned back to life. But back to Day 2. It was Friday and we were sick of the sun and ready to get to the "punched out Deebo" part of our day. I was out of water and my two friends (we'll call them Mark and Tina, because those are their real names) were rationing what little water they had left for the rest of the evening, which wasn't much at all. Begrudgingly, I admitted an early defeat and trekked back to Centeroo for my punch and pie. I sat inside an air conditioned makeshift sports bar (because America can't go four days without sports) and chugged two bottles of water while watching the Decemberists' set on giant flat screen TVs. This was more like it, I thought, but then I also didn't want to miss My Morning Jacket or Arcade Fire. I also didn't want Mark and Tina to die from hyperthermia.

Hyperthermia [hahy-per-thur-mee-uh] - Elevated body temperature due to failed thermoregulation. Hyperthermia occurs when the body produces or absorbs more heat than it can dissipate. The more you know, people.

I tightened my suspenders (fanny pack belt), dusted myself off (pointless and futile), and set back out to join back up with my parched partners in crime and give them the sweet relief of fresh, non-backwashed, water. I know what you're wondering though. "But Nick, how did you manage to get through a sea of people to return to the front row? Surely your path must have been blocked by hundreds, literally hundreds of hippies." And you would be correct, but here's the catch. The hundreds of other hippies who were watching The Decemberists were leaving as I was coming back. There were holes in which to fit through, I just had to dodge a few hacky sacks to make use of them, and make use of them I did. I also had to pretend there was an emergency and tell me people to get the fuck out of my way. Finally though, there was victory.

I made it back to the front where Mark and Tina still were and their eyes lit up at the sight of me holding two extra bottled of water for them. I have no analogy to equate and compare this scene to so just use your imagination. They were fucking happy and I was the hero they deserved and needed. So, yeah, the rest of the night (and the trip) was indeed wonderful. Well, except for Tina getting pelted in the face with a beach ball. That kinda sucked. Oh, and she also ran over a squirrel with her car. So there's that too... But the rest of it was great!

"California One/Youth And Beauty Brigade" - The Decemberists
Chosen by Tina Jones

Tina stated on my Facebook page, "The Decemberists did not play this song, nor did we drive to Cali. But I feel this choice embodies what we all shared." Cue the studio audience awwwwww. She's right though, the song sums up the camaraderie the five of us had while on this trip. No one fought with each other. No one got on anyone else's nerves. We all wanted the same thing. Which was to share one of the best experiences possible from Day 1 to Day 4. From driving up to Tennessee and driving back down home to Florida. Part one of this song is all about driving, specifically on California's coastal highway, Route 1. And while our car may not have traveled that famous shoreline road we did travel quite a distance to get somewhere we all needed to be.

Packed into a compact sedan for 8-9 hours with four other people may make a certain person go insane or feel claustrophobic. I luckily did not experience either of those things. It was uncomfortable, yes, but never torturous. Torturous is spending just one hour in the car with my parents without headphones at my disposal. Everyone should know what this is like because everyone has some kind of "my parents are so annoying" story to tell. I can't imagine being cooped up in a small space with my parents for 8 hours straight. I'd need some serious downers. Thankfully my parents were not involved so I didn't need that bar of Xanax after all.

The five of us were troopers. Especially Tina considering she drove the entire way to Tennessee. Her secret of course was lots of caffeine. There was a 5 Hour Energy Drink, a Red Bull, and a large cup of coffee involved all at one time. I'm still unsure to this day how her heart managed not to explode. The human body is a resilient thing. However, three of us got sick upon returning. It took two weeks to get over the hippie flu and that was with antibiotics. It was miserable. All I wanted to do was throw a frisbee around and make bongs out of random household objects.

"Strange Times" - The Black Keys
Chosen by Chris Mitchell

I've never listened to this song before. To be honest I've never been a fan of The Black Keys. Their mix of blues and rock just never really appealed to me, but I can understand why people would like them. They're catchy, I'll give them that. I look for one of two things when I listen to a band. Does it cause an emotional response or does it make me want to move? All the artists I enjoy have either one or both qualities. The Black Keys unfortunately have neither. There must've been some reason Chris picked this band and their song to represent his time at Bonnaroo. Or he could just be lazy like me and pulled a song out of his ass just to give me one. I mean, he's a funny guy. The tantrum to get an Aqua Teen hat at the Adult Swim carnie games was proof enough.

Again, my memory does not serve me correctly. I can't remember what the hell I was doing when The Black Keys were performing. Does anyone remember? It was Saturday night, correct? Because they played before Eminem went on. Right? Fuck it. The only thing that really mattered on Saturday night was Scissor Sisters and Girl Talk. In fact that was more like Sunday morning considering we didn't get back to the hotel room till 6:00AM. Then we were back up at 8:00 to do it all over again. Then we were up fairly late Sunday night trying to put a dent in our cache of beer by playing Circle Of Death. Strange Good times.

"The Suburbs" - Arcade Fire
Chosen by me

"Your part of town against mine so you're standing on the opposite shore."

That line sums it all up for me. I don't know why, but it does. Could be the way I felt the first time I heard it played live last August in Atlanta seeping into how I felt when they played it at Bonnaroo. Two separate occasions, two very different meanings. The duality of the song and the duality of how all of our lives have those black and white moments even though it's still cradled by all of the grey that's in between. It always seems like there's a war going on between nouns. People, places, things. That constant struggle everyone calls life. I've taken the more cynical approach by just saying "whatever." But even cynicism has failed.

"No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up." - Jane Wagner

And she's right. It's not enough. Which is why I miss being a kid. Cynicism had no meaning yet.

This is why we spend a night or a day or a few days and nights forgetting about all of the bullshit that we have to worry about that happens on the other days. We need our release from the front lines. We need fucking concerts and Four Loko that has 12% alcohol. We need to try to set up a tent without the directions. We need a dude Jazzercising to School Of Seven Bells. We need to sing at the top of our lungs when our favorite song comes on. We need to eat Taco Bus everyday because it's fucking delicious. We need to push Gumby out of the way while trying to find the room to dance to whatever Greg Gillis is playing at the time. We need to get closer to the stage when Sleigh Bells is on so our ears bleed from the high decibel level. We need to take care of someone when the heat gets to them. We need to go down the waterslide one more time. We need to just forget about the war every now and then.

#21

5-10-15-20-25

I was recently reminded of the part in High Fidelity where the main character Rob looks up all his old girlfriends in a sort of "what does it all mean?" mid-life crisis. While the situation seems to be common for most people, for me it just seems like a gimmick to help cope with some kind of pain that's still lingering. Kind of like how people go to psychics to get help or post something on Facebook to get attention from peers in a non-direct way. I think most psychics are fake, and the Facebook posts wind up just getting blocked from my news stream. So I'm sorry if I didn't like your the photos you posted of your stupid baby. You're probably blocked.

As for me, instead of taking the "what does it all mean?" approach. Instead of awkwardly calling up all my ex's to ask them "what happened to us?" I go for the best kind of memory erasing I can give myself within the bounds of human consciousness and capability. Photos get destroyed, keepsakes are burned, songs aren't listened to for a long time. Hell, just last week I listened to Passion Pit for the first time in almost a year. To be honest, I think I can probably go the rest of my life without hearing them again. They just didn't make the impression on me that I need to stick with an artist no matter what the memory connected to them may be.

So instead of looking back at memories that do not need unearthing, I'd rather dig up some other ones that allow me to ask and answers the questions of my own being. Other people influence our personalities, but it's how we process those connections in relation to how we feel at the time that causes those neural pathways to form the way they do. Which brings me to the subject of this new 5SIAR.

Pitchfork has a column they run called 5-10-15-20-25 in which they ask musicians what they were listening to when they were those ages. It's interesting to see what everyone puts and how my choices are so lame in comparison. But this is what made me. And I only get one personal musical history so I should make the best of it by sharing it with all of you. Prepare to laugh and silently mock me.

"In The Mood" - Robert Plant

People have very blurred and distorted memories from when they were small children. It's our brain's natural defense against the very first pains we experience when growing up since we are still mentally immature to handle them all. We don't know how to cope with certain behaviors and surroundings. I remember bits and pieces as I'm sure you do as well of your childhood. The one thing that always sticks out among the people I've talked to is that they always remember what music their parents were playing. I seem to recall a lot of The Beatles. One of my first memories is my mother rocking me to sleep while humming "Let It Be." Paul was always her favorite and I have her Wings albums. No, I do not listen to them.

It wasn't until my family and I moved to Florida from our hometown of Rahway, NJ that I remember a specific song that was played just for me. It was "In The Mood" from Plant's solo album The Principle of Moments. I just remember this one song even though I know they played the entire album. I was 5 and my bedroom was the fold-out couch in the living room of our one bedroom apartment. My parents put this album on one night as a soundtrack for me to fall asleep to. Not sure what my parents were thinking. It's not exactly an album that is soothing with Plant's vocals being so metallic and sharp. What kind of 5 year old would enjoy this? Me, I guess. Or at least that's what my dad probably thought at the time since it was his cassette.

I'm not close with my dad. We barely have anything to say to each other most of the time. But we do share a love of certain types of music and I have to give credit where credit is due. He introduced me to Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Two of the greats, obviously, and as time went on in my youth he would constantly play Physical Graffiti and Dark Side Of The Moon. I've tried returning the favor by giving him newer music to listen to, but I never have any success. It may be because I caught him listening to "Everybody Hurts" one day and made fun of him for it. Did I mention we don't get along very well? On a more positive note, he's finally stopped listening to Celine Dion.

"Head Over Heels" - Tears For Fears

My time table is a little off for this song and album. I was listening to Songs From The Big Chair when I was around 7 or 8. Honestly though, I loved it so much that it was still played in the car when I was 10. It was required listening every time we went on a trip somewhere. Short or long. My parents only had one car for a while so I was always with my mom when she had to pick my dad up from work. As soon as we'd get in the car I'd beg her to play Tears For Fears, and of course bring the great mom she is, she always had the tape ready for me. Side one track one, "Shout", was one of my first favorite songs, but it was MTV and their constant rotation of the video for "Head Over Heels" that finally made me decide that Songs From The Big Chair was to be my first favorite album. I seriously loved that song so much I wanted to watch the video for it on repeat. And so begins my very first musical obsession.

When my parents finally caved and became cable television addicts they got a big kick out of recording the music videos off of MTV with their new state of the art VCR. We were climbing up the middle-class ladder. We moved out of the shitty one bedroom apartment and into a new three bedroom house. My dad even had his own work car once and for all. An old Datsun hatchback that required the bumper being held in place with electrical tape. This would later become a standing joke in our household. So with fiscal security came better Christmas presents. I finally got a Nintendo, but more importantly I finally got my own boombox with a cassette player for my room. This added luxury would become more important to my personal and social evolution than a gaming system. I never had to blow into a cassette tape to get it to play either.

Most of my pre-teen music exposure was attributed to those video tapes my parents had sitting on top of the TV for hours of continued entertainment. We eventually had an on-demand music video catalog. Everything from Rick Astley to ZZ Top was recorded. If we liked it, we hit the red button on the remote. Yes, I'm responsible for Rick Astley. I told you you would laugh, did I not? As the years went on I got into a lot more Pop music than you could probably shake a stick at. I stayed away from the mall-rat scene and stuck with the good stuff of course. Even at 10 I was a bit of a snob and had somewhat of a taste. Except for Rick. I totally understand Dennis' (It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) obsession with the song. And yes I bought the cassette single for the it too. Sigh.

"The Sign" - Ace Of Base

It's confession time, folks. Before the onslaught of grunge I was stuck in a bit of a Pop wormhole that I couldn't get out of. I blame the radio for this because it even took time for the airwaves to catch on to the insurgence of Alternative bands. Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots...they didn't exist yet in my world. My corner of the audioverse had room for only one band(?) and they were called Ace Of Base. I'll let that sink in for a bit.

Caught your breath yet? Great. I'm sure my 15 year old self was able to hear your laugh even from this great space/time difference, jerk. Okay, so I'm kind of laughing too (while I also listen to the entire album over again). It's terrible. Like, really terrible. Why did I like it so much? As I ponder this quandary I can only come up with one solution - The female vocals. I'm drawn to them. As my musical taste expanded with Alternative bands I realized that I liked the stuff sung by women more than men. This opened the door to Tori Amos, who is still one of my favorite musicians of all time. Sure, I was made fun of. But then being the music junkie I was I would just retort with "Maynard James Keenan likes Joni Mitchell, so fuck off!" Needless to say that did not ward off my verbal attackers.

But I mean, come on. You can't help but bop your shoulders to the beat. Yes, it's bad, and I eventually wised up and started listening to what all the other kids in my classes were listening to. I bought Siamese Dream from Smashing Pumpkins and never looked back. I even remember asking a friend of mine if buying that album would make me "cool." She said yes. So I went with it. Ace Of Base was left to collect dust on my CD rack and was finally traded in for better CDs. Still, I admit it helped shape my musical preferences of present day. It may be why I like Lady Gaga. That's okay, right?

"Bleed" - Soulfly

It wasn't until well after high school that I would get into Heavy Metal. My previous and only experience with the genre was Metallica's Black Album and really nothing else. I remember riding the bus in high school and someone gave a Megadeth tape to the driver to play. I immediately put on my headphones, turned the volume up on my portable CD player, sank into my seat, and listened to Boys For Pele.

During the ages of 20 and 21 I reconnected with an old friend from high school who was starting a band. They were playing covers. Some Alice In Chains, Corrosion Of Conformity, and Faith No More were on the set list. I knew some of it and I tried out to be the singer and got the job. That lasted a whole two days I think. They found someone better who wound up being someone worse. I was still involved in the band though and learned how to run sound and hook up the PA. As time went on the cover band turned into a real band with original songs and I was asked to join again to play keyboards/synth and run samples. But before all of that occurred I had to be schooled in the ways of Metal.

My friend took me to the record store and made me buy Pantera's live album, something else I can't remember, and Soulfly's first album, Soulfly. I was familiar with Sepultura and had listened to Roots several times while hanging out with friends. It never sunk in though. It wasn't until I listened to Soulfly, Max Cavalera's band after he split from Sepultura, that made me want to like heavier music. It also made me want to get their logo tattooed on my upper right arm. A decision that haunts me to this day no thanks to my friends that like to exploit it at parties for a cheap laugh. I also do weddings.

As with Ace Of Base, I am also giving Soulfly another listen for the purpose of writing this post. I completely forgot that the song "Bleed" has Fred Durst in it for a verse. I feel sick now. I want to go back in time and stop 20 year old Nick from getting the tattoo. It would save him the grief and the hours of wasted time trying to come up with something to cover it up. It would also save a lot of bedroom time with a lady trying to explain the damn thing.

"Ew. What's that on your arm?"
"It's a Soulfly tattoo. Just don't look at it."
"Um, I gotta go."

"Roulette Dares (The Haunt Of)" - The Mars Volta

We're almost there. We're almost to present day. We're at 25. This is where it all really started. I got so tired of listening to the television or the radio for what I was supposed to listen to. I wasn't a kid anymore. I wasn't going to put up with watered down, record company endorsed, shit stains. Life was pretty much in the crapper too. I was a new dad and I had no idea how to be one except that I didn't want to be my dad. Also, my relationship with the baby's momma was on shaky ground and would eventually dissolve. I needed music to save me, but unfortunately all of the old artists couldn't help with my dilemmas. I needed new blood so I went hunting.

I remembered seeing a video from a band I had never heard before called At The Drive-In. The song was "One Armed Scissor" and I'm sure most of you true believers out there are familiar with it. I remember it being like nothing I had ever heard before and came to the conclusion that this is what I needed to help me press on in life. I asked a co-worker who I knew listened to what he called "indie" music for all of At The Drive-In's albums. He brought them to me and I listened and digested them. After doing some research and seeing that they had broken up, started a new band, and released their debut album I immediately went to the record store to buy it. I didn't think about illegally downloading the album at the time. I don't know why really. I guess because I needed something tangible in my hand. Something to touch and hold on to and shove into the CD player in my 2001 Chevy S10 when I needed it to be there. It was Deloused In The Comatorium that sent me on the adventure into not only independent artists, but also the artists that influenced them. I'm guessing this is how in the future a computer may feel when it becomes self-aware.

The years of 25-30 had a lot of hardships, break-ups, court dates, and songs to get me through it all. It was this period in my life when music became one of the most important things. It saved me like it also saved Rob in High Fidelity. Music saves, but it'll also destroy. And to be honest, a little destruction never hurt anybody.

By the way, I have pages you can follow. You can find 5 Songs In A Row on Facebook and Twitter now. You know, if you're into that sort of thing.

#4:20

Funnel


"Is this a---what day is this?" -The Dude

Any writer will tell you that one of the biggest fears about writing is staring at a blank piece of paper. Or in my case an empty screen. I forgot where I was going with this.

So today is 4/20 and I just did my civic duty of making at least one joke about it. Now I can move on and never mention that this day, while full of harbingers of death (Hitler's birthday. The Gulf oil spill. Dudes in trench coats playing a live-action version of DOOM inside their school.), it is also the national holiday for pot smokers everywhere to have an excuse to do what they probably did yesterday - smoke more pot. I'm not judging, just merely stating the obvious because I'm sure as I write this most of my friends have already sparked a J at some point today and I'm jealous. All I've done is sit in Anatomy class and look at vaginas and penises all morning. Relax, we're studying the Reproductive System right now. Besides I've been close to these models since the first day of the semester. There was no other way to get all the giggling out of the way.

I'm testing myself right now because I just remembered why I started talking about writer's block. I've been suffering from it off and on for the past few months. I'll get a stroke of luck and be able to write paragraphs and paragraphs of pure brilliance. And then go through a dry spell and realize that just typing the word the is enough to make me run away from my computer in extreme terror. The only advice I've been able to follow is something a mentor of mine told me when I asked him what he did when he had writer's block.

"Simple. You write through it."
"That's it?"
"That's it. Just start writing and don't stop. Even if it doesn't make sense - don't stop."

That's what I'm doing right now; Writing and not worrying about what I might say. The filters are off, which could end badly, but who cares? How many people read this thing by choice anyway? I usually have to bug people to read when it goes up, which I always feel bad about doing. If people want to read it's their decision. I'm done censoring myself for the sake of who might read what I have to say. Hell, it might even make it more enjoyable. Like that poop you took the other day while still on the clock at work. Or pulling a pesky chest hair from your neck. Maybe those are just things I enjoy.

"Exile Vilify" - The National

God damn you Matt Beringer. Seriously, why do you have to write songs that relate to so many males aged 25-35 and their problems? If I didn't know any better, Matt, I'd just go back to listening to Aaron Lewis complain about his life. Which, I'm guessing, is far more brutal than yours. I mean come on. Look at the amount of criticism the guy takes on a daily basis from people like you and I. We may not judge the content of a person's character by the color of their skin, but I'll bet you buttons to biscuits that we'll judge someone by what music they listen to. It's a bad personality trait to have, it's true. And obviously not one I'm proud of, and I'm working on it, really. But I just can't help but cross-reference a person's visual IQ to the music he/she probably listens to. I say visual IQ because where I live the meth look is always en vogue so chances are a good portion of the population here does not listen to The National or even know who they are. Their tooth loss.

This song from the king of brooders was written and recorded for the video game Portal 2 which I probably will never play. Video games and I have a distant relative kind of relationship in that we only see each other a few times a year and maybe when someone dies. But since this is 4/20 and pot smoking and video games are synonymous to, well, pot smoking and video games, I'm willing to give it a try. Now all I need to do is find someone with the game, get out of work, drive to their house, eat their food, drink their beer...fuck it, nevermind. No wonder most spot smokers have the edge on laziness. Some of the actions involved are way too movement driven which is why I'm surprised smokers haven't invented more remote controlled objects. I'm getting off topic here and I'm not even high. I think just being awake during 4/20 gives you a contact buzz similar to watching James Franco host the Emmy's.

Raw. Visceral. Another power word used to describe a new song, book, or movie. "Exile Vilify" doesn't sound like it belongs in a video game. It sounds like it should have been on High Violet to replace one of the other crappier songs. I'm looking at you "Runaway." Honestly, I can't really sweat The National's balls too much. They make great music. Music that I wish the people living off Fish Hatchery Road would discover. Yes, that is a real name for a road here. This one's for you guys. It's also for my friends. Because lately I feel like I'm living somewhere in obscurity off Fish Hatchery Road.

"Patriarch On A Vespa" - Metric

I was rudely interrupted for a while by my Ethics professor and his ability to make me and my fellow classmates feel like imbeciles. We're currently on the topic of feminism, and while his views are poignant and on track with how the world should be treating women and men, it becomes difficult to speak out against patriarchy and the power over an individual when the professor treats his students as second-class. I understand that there is a teacher/student rapport, but some of his comments to me and to others on the discussion boards are deplorable. I empathize with his beliefs, but he needs to recognize that he's not going to sway a demographic that is mostly white, middle-class, and monotheistic to his side when acting like an Ivy League snob. I'm not saying he needs to dumb himself down, but he could certainly make his rebuttals a bit more polished and respectful and not so fuck knuckle-ish.

Discussing patriarchy made me think of this song which is a nice little battle cry against fitting into the cookie-cutter kind of life most men expect of women. In fact most of Live It Out is about Emily Haines' falling into the typical expectations of women the world seems to have in store for her. I've been a big fan of Haines' music for a while now. Her solo album Knives Don't Have Your Back is a favorite of mine. I might have actually included a song from that album on 5SIAR at some point. I don't know -- I can't remember right now. If you're following along that was another pot joke.

I'm a dude and even I have a fear of comparison shopping. I must admit that I tried the typical American lifestyle on for a while. A wife (Girlfriend that hated me), a steady, good-paying job (Still here. And define: good-paying), children (Chips off the old smartass block. So proud of them!). And just like an American Apparel t-shirt it was cut a bit too small for my liking. That could also be because I weighed 180 lbs. and even a size L shirt was snug on me. I'm happy to say that I'm now a happier person because of a few things I've learned and changed within the past years, months, weeks, and days. I'm still learning actually because no one should ever stop in the first place. This is why we still have the same kind of shitty problems everyone complains about yet does nothing to make it better. For instance, the lack of equality amongst the races and sexes. The abundance of childhood obesity. Or the inability to find a deli that makes a good pastrami sandwich.

"Weed Song" - Bone Thugs -N- Harmony

It's 10:00PM and I may not be able to get this post done and posted before my midnight deadline. It's a 420 post so it'll be really awkward if I post it tomorrow. Maybe I'll just hold off on this one till Christmas. Then everyone will surely be lost! It'll be like a pot flashback. Do those exist? Do people get so high that once they come down something will trigger them to get high again later on? And if so do they crave the same kinds of food? I can't imagine a former pot smoker turned family man out to dinner with his wife and kids at Chili's and suddenly ordering a bottomless brownie sundae as his main course and the mozzarella sticks for dessert. Actually, yes I can.

What's a post about 420 on 4/20 without one song referencing smoking mary jane? Just so you know I felt very white typing "mary jane" just now. Is that capitalized?

I know I could've chosen a better song about pot. Are there better songs about pot? I feel like that isn't possible unless the name of the song doesn't reference pot in any way and the name of your band is Animal Collective. Speaking of bands with trippy album covers, what's up with this one? The skull is just being creepy by hiding behind those cannabis plants. And if you stare deep into it's eyes you can see a Kanye West meme stare back at you. But seriously, Bone has written and recorded enough songs about smoking out to warrant a greatest hits? Cypress Hill didn't even do that. Well, I guess they really didn't have to considering their entire back catalog references MARY JANE in some way or another.

I have one hour left to write about two more songs. And go.

"Pacing Around The Church" - Cold Cave

I'm eating crow at this very moment. I originally wrote this album off very early. Then I found out one of my favorite producers was involved in the making of it - Chris Coady. He produced Teen Dream from Beach House, so maybe giving it another try and a deeper listen wasn't such a bad idea. That and my friend Aaron would've given me shit if I put a song from this album on my year end mix without previously stating I liked it in some way. That's how I squeaked in a Health song from my 2009 mix. I like Health now and to be honest I would've given me shit too. And yes I think too much about this kind of stuff. There are rules to mixtape/CD making, right? Rules that must be followed to some extent. Someone back me up on this.

This album has been on constant rotation. I admit I am quick to judge something new. It could be because I expose myself to too much new music at one time...Shit, it's 11:21!

"Courtship Dating" - Crystal Castles

The only things you need to know about this song is that I listen to it a lot and I'm running out of time to post this blog on 4/20. So much for having enough time to write without stopping and without a filter! That proved to be kind of impossible considering I'm at work and doing schoolwork at the same time. I make a great employee.

This song is a boner jam. Whatever that really is. What is anything?

I'll leave you with that.

Goodnight.

#19

I'm Treading. I'm Treading. I'm Sinking. I'm Treading.

I'm treading water and trying to stay afloat. So says the book Not Quite Adults: Why 20-Somethings Are Choosing a Slower Path To Adulthood, and Why That's Good For Everyone. After reading the introduction, in which the authors described my haste into adulthood by having children and therefore skipping education as treading water, I don't feel as miserable about my situation as I once did. Sure, I'm not in as good as shape as most of my other peers, but now I know I'm not alone in my faults. I shouldn't really call them faults, however, that word makes me feel like a failed at something, which I don't feel like I have. Mishandling would be a better term for the arms I'm using to keep my head above the water. More often than not I've let my appendages get too tired to the point of sinking. I drown for a bit, and then I rise back to the top only to return to my previous state of treading. I should be concentrating on swimming. I should be concentrating on studying for that next Anatomy test and working on that 10 page paper for Ethics (which I'm not looking forward to). I should be concentrating on my hobbies. For instance, this blog and my fascination with music.

It's so easy to be lazy though. But even being lazy has its rewards. We all need a break every now and then to maintain our sanity and to propel us forward. We just can't let that break turn into the rest of our lives. As I get older I've found that I can't stay stagnant. If I sit too long in one spot my anxiety level shoots through the roof as if my neurotransmitters are playing that Strong Man game at a carnival. You know, the one with the giant Gallagher-esque mallet used to pound a piece of metal up a scale to see how "man" you are. The game is rigged, as is most of my body is as well. But that's just an excuse.

Speaking of excuses, I've been trying not create any for the reason why I haven't updated 5SIAR as much as I should. Actually, I've been trying to not make excuses for a lot of other miscues as well. A friend of mine stated recently that she's "fucking done with making excuses for not ruling." I might be paraphrasing a bit, but that was the gist of it. She also said that she's getting back to basics. Simplifying. Trimming the fat to allow for the maximum experience out of life. And she's right because we only get one shot at this (multiple if you're Hindu, I guess). We shouldn't be wasting time, or making excuses, or exhausting ourselves with the endeavors our parents set out for us. Our world is not their world and therefore their plans are not our plans. We're not dead yet. It's not, as Vonnegut said "so it goes", but more like "so it rules."

Here are five songs I've chosen as being the ones that will help me to swim.

"One Chance" - Modest Mouse

This song popped into my head yesterday as I was washing my car. I don't know what I was thinking when I suddenly started humming the verse "My friends, my habits, my family, they mean so much to me." It hadn't even dawned on me yet that I'd be writing a new 5SIAR. That came to me as I began to read the introduction to the aforementioned book in the first paragraph. It immediately made me think of yesterday. Scrubbing my car to get all the pollen off. A heavy breeze destroying the piles of leaves my brother had raked earlier in the day, or perhaps week. The almost meditative silence that made me want to break out the boom box and attempt to find a decent radio station to listen to. But since there aren't any decent radio stations to listen to I was left with my own inner voice. Which, as luck would have it, started to sound like Isaac Brock.

Modest Mouse makes for a good soundtrack to being in my late 20s and early 30s. Cursive would be another good choice. During my attendance of a recent Cursive show frontman Tim Kasher explained between songs and sips of whiskey that he's made a decent career out of writing about his failed relationships and social-awkwardness. That's what we all need - an outlet. Something we enjoy doing and can also survive on. Something that doesn't involve a cubicle and does involve being outdoors and appreciating life a bit more. Our generation needs more breathing room than our parents did. I plan on reading Not Quite Adults in its entirety to find out why.

I'm still trying to grasp and understand why "One Chance" started reciting itself in my head. My memory could've picked any song from any album from any band. Why this one at that specific time? I think that there are always bands that become period pieces on your iPod. You equate that music to the feelings you had during that time. I think Modest Mouse is the closest approximation to mine right now. Maybe that's why it appeared in my memory. My subconscious decided that Good News For People Who Love Bad News was relevant to what needed to be said to my conscious brain. That my friends, habits, and family will always be there when I need them and that I need to cut more of that "Mad Max bullshit" out of my life to make it less stressful.

"That Teenage Feeling" - Neko Case

The line "And nothing comforts me the same as my brave friend who says 'I don't care if forever never comes'" takes me back to the intro of Not Quite Adults again. The authors mention that we are relying less on our significant others (if we have one) and more on our family and friends to help cope with the problems our generation is facing. So many young adults are realizing that it's too difficult to maintain a relationship while trying to find their place in life. We aren't our parents. We can't just graduate college and immediately find a job, get married, and have kids. It seems as if when we do try to do that we fail. So why do we keep doing it? One word: hormones. Our physiology seems to want to control our anatomy. The chemicals in our bodies want to rule us. There's one specific culprit - oxytocin - though it is still unclear how much of a role it plays in sexual behavior. Yes, men have it too, but in smaller amounts.

That teenage feeling may be caused by the release of oxytocin into the bloodstream during sexual arousal. I think most of our problems come from an addiction to our own hormones. It'd be nice to kick the habit cold turkey and not have to worry about "feelings" anymore, but we can't. We're stuck with this chemical that gets released from our pituitary gland and travels through our veins whenever we're attracted to someone. It also plays a part in increasing trust. However, according to this article from the NY Times, that trust is not for everyone. We have in-groups and out-groups and right now it seems as if our in-group has become our friends and family and our out-group are our husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends. I know this doesn't apply to everyone. But it does for my immediate friend group. The doctor who did the research stated that "when people get together with others who share their values, that drives up the level of oxytocin." So true because I don't know what I'd do without my friends. They are the ones I want on my side from now till death. They have become one of the most important things in my life.

I need to come to terms that the forever Neko is talking about may not come. I'm getting closer. It'd be easier if my physiology had a control panel. Some kind of interface that would allow me to choose which chemicals I want my body producing at a certain time.

"Okay, today I want serotonin, dopamine, some endorphins, and maybe a little extra epinephrine so I won't need to drink three cups of coffee to stay awake at work."

And yes, in the future, someone will make an app for that.

"Try A Little Tenderness" - Otis Redding

Self-explanatory.

"Crystalised" - The xx

I've chosen an xx track not for what the song means or how it makes me feel, but because of the production value of it. I've become obsessed lately with anything that has Jamie Smith's (aka Jamie xx) name stamped on it. From his main project The xx to his DJ sets that I have been trying to seek out on the internet, to his newest release We're New Here - the remix of Gil-Scott Heron's 2010 album I'm New Here. To say I'm fascinated with his work would be an understatement. It's not even that stylistic or ground-breaking. But it is definitely minimalist, and that's something I can get behind seeing as how I have been striving for the same kind of philosophy in regards to my life.

Earlier in this post I touched upon trimming the fat. Discarding what isn't needed to survive. I'm sure everyone has watched or least heard of that show Hoarders, right? Sometimes I feel like I hoard too much in my life. I'm not talking about tangible objects, but the things no one can see. The trash in my brain that needs to be taken out to the curb once and for all. This, to me, is a huge chunk of fat that needs to go away. I'd have someone help me carry it all out, but therapists are expensive and my insurance sucks.

I now know that the key to not having stress is to lead the most simple life as possible. I don't need much to be happy and a xx song doesn't need much to be great. So as I listen to the songs on this album they give me ideas on how to only include what is most beneficial to my day to day grind. I only need soft vocals, one reverberated guitar with no distortion, one bass with minimal distortion, a few electronic drum beats, and maybe a handful of synth patches. In my quest to live this kind of life I have renewed my interest in making music. The goal is to put two and two together to make something to share with everyone else. It'll be my version of preventative medicine. Bear with me.

"Zebra" - Beach House

I decided to make a Top 5 Most Listened To Albums list. I've thought of three so far. PJ Harvey's Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea. Middle Cyclone from Neko Case and this album, Teen Dream from Beach House. It makes me wonder if the other two spots will be filled with female singers. It also makes me think of the Seinfeld episode with Mel Torme where Elaine asked Jerry if he wants to go to the benefit Mel is singing at. To which Jerry replies, "I can't watch a man sing a song. They get all emotional, they sway. It's embarrassing." I can relate.

I wish I knew why this song has been stuck in my head. It moved in around the beginning of February and started sleeping on the couch. It's quiet at night and allows me to sleep, but during the day it won't stop repeating itself. Actually listening to it doesn't make it stop either. I don't even know what or who Victoria is singing about. It doesn't really matter because it's not the lyrics but the music that keeps looping over and over. I'm not the type of music listener that tries to find the meaning it had for the writer anyway. I only care about its meaning to me. Is that wrong?

The piece of "Zebra" that keeps repeating is the intro. The guitar riff is so bright and low-key but with an aggressive kind of force that orders you to stay still when it begins to play. Accurate in the sense that it doesn't aim to kill, but to maim so that each time it plays it makes you lose a little bit more of yourself. Now that I think about it, the entire album is like that. Teen Dream drags you out to sea and then brings you back to shore with some parts missing, but with so much more given back. It's like the tides. Okay now I'm starting to sound like an old Grateful Dead fan that's still on an acid trip. Next paragraph.

"Zebra" and the rest of Teen Dream won't go away no matter how many times I listen, which is kind of comforting. It's always there like a friend. A faithful companion. A partner in crime. The reason and answer to problems. It's been a long time since I've considered an album to have that big of an impression on me. It's all the things in life. The things I have and can't have. It's a reminder that even though people come and go I will always have this music to make me think of that self-realization. It makes me feel safe. Reassured. My feet up at home while having a cup of tea and reading a new book. Having picnics. Being there for my daughters. Swimming.

#18

Hi, My Name Is Not Conor Oberst

I'm writing this while listening to the new Bright Eyes song "Shell Games" from their forthcoming album The People's Key. It's strange to hear how Conor Oberst has changed from a drunk, drugged-out, teenage twenty-something to a well-adjusted, reinvented, adult-like thirty-something. I can't even get past the two minute mark. I think I speak for all of us when I say I liked him better when he was sad and sappy and almost ready to kill himself. Perhaps this is what made Elliott Smith so great. People probably knew his suicide was inevitable and the fact that he actually went through with it made him even greater. Same with Cobain. They went out on a high note. Oberst on the other hand is like the Brett Favre of the indie industry. He just won't go away. And I'm sorry for using a sports reference, but I can't think of anyone else that has prolonged the ending of their career. Even Conor's newer projects (Mystic Valley Band, Monsters Of Folk) are pathetic attempts at reinvention. My apologies to the other members of both bands, you don't deserve to be dragged down with Conor into his own inferno of 4.9 Pitchfork ratings that most of the internet community scoffs at, yet secretly pay attention to.

My point is this: It doesn't matter what you try to do to rekindle that younger flame. You can do side projects, join a different team, or star in your own spin-off that was doomed to fail from the get go. If the people say you're done. Then you're done. Which brings me to this blog. I am not done. No one has ever said, "Nick, don't bother writing anymore, no one is reading." Granted my only readers are my friends and they're obviously not going to tell me to stop, just like I'm sure Conor's friends have given him praise and have told him to keep writing when he's down on himself and considers killing his career. The difference is that I'm not out to make a buck with this blog. Yes, I care that people read and give their feedback, and yes I would love to write for a living. But do I care that it makes me money? No, I don't. Which is another reason why I don't like 90% of music currently playing on the radio. They don't make the music for the love of the art. They do it for the paycheck. And to me, Conor Oberst has become the Nickelback, Creed, and Staind of the indie music world. It's hard to say no when the dollar sign says yes.

We need something new. Something we've never heard.

This road has been forever. My feet are tired from walking it for so long. The twists. The turns. The bumps. I had to find a shady spot under a tree and rest, which is why this blog fell into ruins. But I'm back up and I'm coming back to it now like it was a home I used to live in. Everything is covered in moss and there's a dampness to everything. The wood is rotting and the paint has peeled away. I could feel bad about all of this, but I'm done feeling sorry for what I've done. It's time to accept it and move on. I'm going roll up my sleeves and clean it all up. It's not going to be bigger and better than what it was before. It will be less. Less is always more. You'll see. I will show you.

For this 5SIAR I'm picking songs that I have only heard for the first time. Some unknowns. Some castaways. All of them are must listens which is why I'm putting them on here.

"Vehicle" - The Ides Of March

Yet another band using the automobile as a metaphor for falling for someone. The Boss does it better though, obviously.

I've been procrastinating writing this post. It's not my fault though, I'm going to school again. Hold your applause, please. As much as it is exciting to traverse through unknown subject matter on the coattails of a measly government grant, it is also mildly terrifying in the way I remember feeling on my first day of elementary school. As I explained it to someone today - It is a leap of faith. It is this new experience that gave me the idea of this new 5SIAR. New territory. Fresh ground, or, at least fresh from my perspective.

I found this song over the holidays whilst spreading Christmas cheer by joining the other thousands of people in my town to what I call our new civic duty as Americans: shopping. Nothing says "dashing through the snow" like a wild herd of consumers stampeding each other to get the hot item of the season. My item was a vacuum cleaner for myself. No, I don't like buying "stuff," but I do need to keep my apartment clean. So as I'm "dashing" I decide to give the radio a listen to find some music to get me into the spirit of things and instead I find this song. Sorry Bing, you didn't make the cut.

Have you ever heard a person on the phone without previously meeting them and pictured in your mind what they may look like? That's exactly what happened when I listened to "Vehicle." I immediately had visions of this giant funk supergroup lead by a George Clinton wanna-be with a backing band that rivaled Parliament or Funkadelic or Parliament Funkadelic. That is to say I thought they were all African-American. Then, as I'm beginning to write for this section of 5SIAR, I go on Youtube to see these cats play and to my surprise they are all white. Like, Barry Manilow white or Rod Stewart white. It's not a big deal obviously, which is why I'm not going to linger on this point. But it did have an iota of shock value considering that all of the funk groups I have known throughout my music listening adventures have always been of African descent. Which brings me to another point. White people aren't very funky. They like to emulate the sound made by Motown and Stax in the 70s, but do so without the required soul. And KC & The Sunshine Band do not count, so don't even try.

"Vehicle" may not be the greatest song ever, but it's what I needed at the time. Something new to hold on to even for a few minutes. Aren't most songs like that though? Every once in a while there's a hit. And I'm not talking about a Top 40 Casey Kasem hit. I'm talking about finding a song that's left of the dial. Something you've never heard before, yet suddenly fall head over heels when you first listen. Those are hits. They make an impact. It's almost as if being at sea for months and miraculously finding land. You drop anchor and then begin to explore and then you realize years have gone by and you have all this new knowledge in which to share with other people. I think that is another reason why I started this blog. I've amassed so many memories linked to music that it was about time I started sending some of the messages containing information back home. And sometimes, people are like those kinds of songs too.

"You Better Know" - Witch

To me, the best part of a year ending is all the "year-end lists" that are dispersed onto the interwebs. Best Music of 2010. Best Movies of 2010. Best Books of 2010. And, to my personal delight, Best Music Websites of 2010. Wait, you mean there are others out there beyond the thick walls Pitchfork has wrapped around everyone? Yes, yes there are, and may I say that the lesser known ones (at least to me) have more to offer in the way of not only discovering new music, but old music as well. Out of the Best Music Website list I found one that I immediately fell in love with. Her name is Aquarium Drunkard.

Everyone should be on this website on a daily basis, if not for the new posts, but for the back catalog as well. There is a ton of music on there, new and old, that is waiting to be heard. Witch, for example. This quintet from Zambia deserves to be heard, which is why, of course, blogmaster Justin Gage presumably posted the lead title track from Introduction which is simply the members jamming and the singer introducing the members of the band. That song drew me in enough to download the entire album and upon listening to it track 3, "You Better Know", stuck out. You can really tell that these guys loved the Stones and wanted to pay homage to them by creating an album of blues-rock and psyche. Which goes to show you that even back then bands were already sounding like other bands of their time or before their time. This has been a hot topic in my group of friends for a while now since most of the newer indie bands sound just like bands from the 60s, 70s, and 80s. People feel that there is no originality anymore. I can see how someone might think that, but it is a very narrow view of the entire spectrum of music that exists.

So, even new is old, and old is new. To me at least. I feel being completely original in modern times is a Catch-22. How can you write songs now that sound nothing like what you may have already heard? There is always going to be influence from some other artist that exists or has existed. There is no logical way around it. When you listen to music you prescribe to every part of it. It becomes a part of you whether you want it to or not. A song you heard years ago may affect a mood you have today. We remember everything even if we don't consciously know that we do. So I can't really hold it against the artists of today creating music that may sound close to what they heard 20 years ago.

"Funnel Of Love" (at 33 RPM) - Wanda Jackson

Yet another great find from the previously mentioned website Aquarium Drunkard. This song from Wanda Jackson, the queen of Rockabilly, was slowed down to 33 RPM to reveal that changing the song's playing speed puts it in a completely different genre. Instead of the mid-tempoed rockabilly with a raspy voice it becomes a slowed down psychedelic track with a baritone hook from the backup singers. Creepy.

After listening to this track and doing some further research on Ms. Jackson I discovered that she is releasing a new Jack White produced album that is being released on his Third Man Records label. I'm anxious to hear how that might sound. Jack is also known for breathing new life into country legend Loretta Lynn with her Jack White produced album from 2004, Van Lear Rose. Their song together, "Portland, Oregon", is a good one. That is if you're into a more classic kind of country like I am. I'll take Patsy and Emmylou over any of the current pop-saccharined stars any day of the week.

After listening to "Funnel Of Love" at 33 RPM I've decided to search out more tracks that have been slowed down. Supposedly there's a 33 RPM version of Neko Case's "Deep Red Bells" floating around the internet somewhere. Still haven't been able to find it though. If anyone runs into it during their travels can you please send it to me. Thank you.

Slowing songs down also reminds me of a Ween album a friend had me listen to during his tenure on my couch this past summer/fall. Pretty much all the songs on the album could either be listened to at 33 or 45 RPM. There should be more albums like this and I'm surprised there aren't considering all of the experimental electronic bands out there always wanting to push the envelope with their sound. I could see Animal Collective doing something like that. Or maybe Dan Deacon. I'll stop name dropping now.

"I Don't Know" - Lisa Hannigan

So the other night at work a co-worker walked over to my desk and asks me if I've ever listened to Lisa Hannigan.

"Who is that?"

"You know, the chick that sings with Damien Rice sometimes."

I didn't know. And while I wasn't shocked to hear this person talk about Damien Rice, I was however shocked that he took the time to do his research to find out who the lovely lady was that sings with Rice on most of his songs including the haunting (and personal favorite) "9 Crimes", which was something I've never done. Needless to say I immediately went on Youtube to find some of the music of this Irish songstress. My first click was this video from the song "I Don't Know" from Hannigan's debut solo album Sea Sew recorded inside an Irish pub.



Hannigan and her band sit inside a tiny box of a room reserved for musicians that come and play. A unique concept since these old pubs do not have jukeboxes. It gives the patrons something to listen to without having to worry about the music being right in front of their face - like being in front of a stage - and therefore too loud. The performance and setting are perfect. Even the old curmudgeonly bartender seems to be enjoying himself. Am I right?

So now I've been listening to Sea Sew non-stop lately. That's what happens when I find something new and love. I play it out. I wear it out. I obsess over it. It's a bad habit when it comes to life I think. I don't give anything a chance to evolve naturally. I use and use and use till it is dull and wants nothing to do with me. Yet another new year's resolution of mine I suppose, which is: leave some breathing room. Life needs air.

I appreciate being surprised with new music. I appreciate it even more when this something new comes from someone that I wouldn't expect to give me a good music suggestion. I'll admit I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to people suggesting new music for me to listen to. New or old. I love the look on someone's face when they try telling me to listen to someone whom I've already heard and decided they were terrible. they look so hopeful. I don't want to be an asshole, so I just nod my head and say, "Sure, I'll check them out." But obviously I don't. Who am I to judge someone else because of their taste in music? Sure, it may suck, but by that philosophy, the other person may think my taste in music is terrible too. Which is fine. But I think we all know who the winner is here. Okay, I'm an asshole.

"The Devil" - PJ Harvey

I have a love/hate relationship with Polly Jean Harvey. Let me first say that my favorite album from this past decade was Harvey's Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea. My adulation for this album is limitless and it would obviously make it on to a desert island top 5 list. A track is never skipped when I dedicate myself to listening to the album, and the song "Good Fortune" makes it onto pretty much any mix I make for someone. However, I've never been able to really get into her other albums. The only reason I ever listened to To Bring You My Love is because of MTV's push of "Down By The Water". Granted, this was during the time people actually paid attention to MTV to give them their dose of what to like in the 90's music scene. A lot of grunge, alternative, and the occasional episode of 120 Minutes when I remembered to set the VCR to record on Sunday night. Does anyone even know where Matt Pinfield is now?

I have never listened to Dry or Rid Of Me either, and I feel a little embarrassed about that. I enjoy Is This Desire? from time to time and I feel the folky Uh Huh Her is sub-par except for the songs "Who The Fuck?" and "You Come Through". I know SFTC, SFTS is her most accessible album and therefore makes me a poser to think that it's better than any of her other releases, but this is why I have vowed to acquire Dry and Rid Of Me so I can listen to her entire catalog straight through. Which brings me to her most recent album, White Chalk - a dark and brooding LP with songs written on the piano instead of the guitar. Yet one more Harvey album I decided to skip over and never listen to because it wasn't SFTC, SFTS. Don't judge me.

White Chalk was more unknown territory to me and I felt that at this point why should I bother listening to it. Sure, I love the piano. Tori Amos was, and still is, a love of mine. I just recently delved into more of Harry Nilsson's recordings after watching the documentary Who Is Harry Nilsson? (And Why Is Everybody Talkin' About Him?). And I grew up listening to a lot of Billy Joel. So it's not like the piano and I have never been previously introduced. But, again, I refused to spend any time with White Chalk. I decided to change that after a friend had suggested to revisit the album. Now, I can't say that I really enjoy it. In fact, even as I'm writing this I'm listening to Is This Desire? and not White Chalk.

Harvey will be releasing her new album Let England Shake here in the states on February 15. I'm already weary of hearing all of it, but the first few tracks that have been released online are promising.

I still do not feel any connection or need to listen to White Chalk. Yes, I'm contradicting myself since I said at the beginning of this post that these songs are "must listens". I guess this proves that even the new songs are tired songs, just like Oberst's. I chose track one, "The Devil", only because I've recently made a new mix of track ones, and, well, I have homework I need to do. The track list is as follows:

1. "Gotta Get Up" - Harry Nilsson
2. "Two Of Us" - The Beatles
3. "Allentown" - Billy Joel
4. "Pink Moon" - Nick Drake
5. "Learning To Fly" - Tom Petty
6. "Caught In A Dream" - Alice Cooper
7. "Watch That Man" - David Bowie
8. "The Queen Is Dead" - The Smiths
9. "Thunder Road" - Bruce Springsteen
10. "Tangled Up In Blue" - Bob Dylan (A live version from Bootleg Vol 5: The Rolling Thunder Revue which I think is better than the version on Blood On The Tracks)
11. "Private Eyes" - Hall & Oates
12. "What's Goin' On" - Marvin Gaye
13. "Wouldn't It Be Nice" - Beach Boys
14. "Sunday Morning" - The Velvet Underground
15. "Teen Age Riot" - Sonic Youth
16. "Gimmie Shelter" - The Rolling Stones
17. "Let's Go Crazy" - Prince

If you would like to have this mix then feel free download it here.

The reason why we have new songs is because of evolution. Take for instance, this blog. I went from talking about something stale (Conor Oberst) to something I decided to put together (my track 1's mix). Another reason why when we consider music, sometimes we need to go backward before we go forward. We, as listeners, crave something new even if it is something old. I don't think I will ever get tired of someone talking about older music because it will always be new ground to me. I've grown tired of checking Pitchfork every day when I get on the computer in the morning. I would like someone to talk to me about music face to face instead of just reading it on the screen. I want that connection. Because more than likely, even something old will be something new to me. I like new music. And I also like the people who show me this music.